this shit sucks fucking balls

my first day at college. feeling....strange. i've found i dont understand the code for this diary anymore. i wrote it, but a long ass time ago. my brain is fried. how am i gonna get back into school.

i am on tumblr dot com searching up "html" for ideas. a lot of the stuff is super cute these days. should i go back to making templates and themes and stuff? i feel like this site is pretty much set for life now. i accidentally made it so unbelivably easy to do things like add journal entires that i find it boring.

i guess i have more important things to deal with, now. but i miss being a kid.

hey! it's been quite a long time. a few months isn't too bad, at least, i tend to leave things abandoned for years. but, with going to university, i want to start things up again!

i plan to update things such as music, and maybe even create new pages? who knows! i'm excited.

i move into my dorm ten days from now, and honestly i am really fucking scared. i hope that everything goes OK enough but i know nothing is perfect. but!!!! as nervous as i am im really happy to get out of this hellhole.

also, im back on the chans, unfortunately v_v

this is it this is god's divine plan and i am so tired i can't even begin to find some love within it

hi hi. started south park. don't know if i'll ever finish bojack horseman because it triggered me pretty badly but hopefully i do one day. otherwise bored. i do nothing all day at school and its so boring -__-

hi!! sorry it's been so long since an update. life got very very busy and i lost the time to do like, any of my hobbies. but i wanted to make sure everyone still knows i am alive :)

i committed to university! and i'm finishing up high school. i'm so ready for this shit to be over. zzz

womp womp i forgot to push the previous entry but also it wouldnt have worked anyway so ??? whatever i guess

im doing ok. tired. as balls. playing a lot of minecraft and working on this nonsense

feeling, normal i guess

this week has been so fucking awful

i'm so sick. i keep thinking about why i do this diary thing. i don't really have anything interesting to say, and most of my thoughts go on twitter or tumblr depending on their nature. i actually run a daily thing on twitter already, i guess, i just love talking about myself. talking about things that happened in the past instead of when they're currently going on. a summmary. a reflection? a standing in the middle of the road while a semi is coming at you but when you think you're about to get hit you pass through like a ghost. you're a ghost :)

i'm so tired. my friends are horrible people. i have a root canal today

working again (i do lighting for my school's productions) so i'm kind of gone. when i get home all i do is play minecraft on this new server i'm on, lol. i got a new gpu for xmas so i like to test it with shaders. unfortunately, playing minecraft with shaders is a nightmare even if it looks good.

i'm playing on the origins mod, and i'm an elytrian. some people are making profile webpages, so i might make one of my own soon! i will show it off when it's done :)

here's the only finished build i've done, the orb



this is my home base and i'm working on smaller builds around it, such as a bridge, etc. but i'm also grinding for better tools and stuff. idk. i'm having fun!

i got an A on my ap mech exam! also like a C on my (calc ab) math exam. whatever. pure math is for losers. applied mathematics changes the WORLD!!!!

also. i didn't study for math lol :)

i finally got all my university application results back. 4 acceptances, 3 deferrals, and 2 rejections. unfortunately i was rejected from my dream school of umich :(
i'm probably going to penn state for data science.


when thinking about university, i have to think about how i will run soupy with a new computer. because i had to wipe my current laptop, this will be the third iteration of software used to run soupy!

my current idea is to replace vscode with nvim. this is mostly because i can't find a vscode theme that matches my kitty theme identitically, and i'm too lazy to make one. however, i really like vscode. nvim is fine but honestly i don't need to be a tech bro who does everything in the terminal. it's 2023!

ok that's it for now, bye :3

monster energy is in my veins every day i wake up and idrink monster energy oh my god. Once i bought a 12 pack of monster energy and they just like broke out of the box and all the cans were all over my car they tried to escape i was fucking sobbing bhysterically i still am thinking about it.



midterms are driving me crazy. im going crazy. thanks everypony for watching

ive been SO obsessed with of montreal lately. my lastfm is like 90% of montreal rn.

studying for midterms is actually sucking the life out of me. all i can think about is how i can't wait for university.
i made a cohost! i don't really know what to do with it..

re my last entry: i managed to escape covid!! i'm pretty happy about it, because it causes my RA to flare up. also, my parents would probably not be happy with you know. getting it again. my dad has some pretty long-lasting effects from when i got covid in april 22, so we don't want to risk going through that shit again. but anyways, that's the best news of my week. no news.

i keep getting into universities and i keep trying to care, but i can't. :). does it really matter? not to me, not right now. i feel as though i don't exist, they're just pushing emails to a bot that wrote applications on its own. like i'm some sort of spam, junk mail, a scam that they've fallen for. i could be a good scam artist.

i started bojack horseman finally. i know, it's like, 'how have you never seen bojack horseman' but im just getting around to it now cuz idk i needed to be in the perfect mode and this is it. i quote it all the time so i may as well fuckin watch it lol. i know a lot of points (i was obsessed with sarah lynn briefly) from the plot but not how they connect so the story is still new to me despite the spoilers.

have a good weekend everybody! in the united states, it's a long weekend to celebrate mlk jr's birthday and i get to study for my ridiculously timed midterms. so excited (nawwwt).

anyways..
my friend has covid so ill probably have it too which sucks. this'll be the second time.

i am hungry
i have been hungry
i was born hungry
what do i need?

i am something
i have been something
i was born something
what could i be?

therapy today.

sorted music alphabetically by artist. hopefully it's correct, i'm pretty dyslexic so

zzz

finished the introduction to my "ai art is not art" paper. then the due date got extended.

accidentally broke the github link by making the repo private but it's good now.

bored at school. i have to work on my senior thesis paper instead of coding which makes me sad. drank too much caffiene.

last night i finally started on my music page so here's a secret preview before i post it to main :)

i'm adding a bunch of stuff to this website. i guess i only have inspiration in the early months of the year lol.

i can't figure out a consistent theme for this website. maybe it's because all the colors are different? should i all change them to the green?

my vscode folder is a mess. how do i organize any of this

hellooo!!! hopefully this diary lasts longer than the last one.
for this diary, i created a more streamlined entry addition tool that will prevent me from iframe hell.

about me....i am almost done with high school! i have an acceptance into university for data science, and i am very excited to attend. i've been listing off things that i won't miss when i go to university.

super firewalled wifi
people i've known for ever
weirdly timed midterms...
uniforms! oh my god
the long commute by car
low amount of resources for STEM.

and there's a lot more but i can't list them all. well! thank you for reading. this is more of a test entry than anything :)