march 20th, 2022
hi diary. it has been quite a while! but unfortunately i am still very much alive and well.

physically and mentally i am in a petter position than i last wrote. my job is over, so i no longer have to work ridiculous hours, and i have just gotten off spring break which was rather relaxing. i have also started reading moby dick, which changes my process of thinking every time i open the book. i also got my nails done, bought new eyeliner (after mine had accidentally dried out) and a huge bottle of shower gel (so i can now smell like roses 24/7 without worrying where i’ll get soap from the next day).

i've gathered quite a bit of money, haggling both my parents and grandparents, i become ever more lenient spending 20s on gacha games, but it doesn’t seem to hurt all too bad in the long run, so i don’t really mind as long as they don’t find out.

now that my job is over, i wish to work on this page again. believe it or not, but i actually have things like my links and music recs already planned out, i just never converted and designed an html page for them. while my nails make it hard to type, so i may still hold out, but i have not forgotten! i promise!

distantly i wonder if this website gets traction. part of me hopes it doesn’t, even though i’ve linked it on other sites with thousands of hits, just because of how under-construction it is. maybe in one of my manic bursts of energy, such as my 3am escapade monday morning, i will revive the site as a whole.

i cannot get one of my friends off of my mind, on thursday night i went to her house and got absolutely shitfaced to the point of not remembering exactly what happened but i do remember being asked to leave so she could make out with a mutual friend who had brought more alcohol. i think my looped thoughts are almot over though, since i can’t recall them now. the only solid memory left is the walk of shame friday morning, where i sat in a 45 minute car drive more hungover than i had ever been in my life. SSRI’s are known for their interactions with alcohol, and let me say, i was ready to never drink again for the rest of the weekend.

school starts again tomorrow, which i am excited for. i miss seeing my friends on the daily, even if i saw a lot of them over break, and i am a little excited for the end of year drama. with ⅔ of the year out of the way, and things like spring fling and prom coming up, school becomes less intensive and there is more room for social interaction. so, i am ready.

toujours à toi
jackson